Diary… Perfect teeth that don’t quite measure up

‘Most people who have small teeth have big gums,’ she said

As I spoke to my wife in the bathroom mirror, she pulled a face like a lairy dog, bearing her teeth as she brushed them vigorously.

I mimicked her look back to her reflection and she remarked that I had very small teeth. Not tiny, but just smaller than hers.

I checked her assertion and made a mental note that it was correct. My teeth are smaller than hers.

She continued: “You have small teeth, but you don’t have big gums. Most people with small teeth have big gums”.

“Really?” I came back.

I wasn’t sure where this teeth conversation might lead if I tried to say anything more, so I offered the diversion of an anecdote from my past.

“You might know this already, but as a child one of my family nicknames was ‘Diddyteeth’,” I said. 

My cousin Jan, who lives in America, still uses this monicker occasionally, with affection.

Like, “Would you like a cup of tea, Diddyteeth?”

My wife responded to my story: “You have perfect teeth.”

We both knew this wasn’t true since my two front teeth are 90% crown after a drunken night many years ago during which I fell over and smashed my face in.

The real reason for this conversation, I suspect, links back to one day last week when my wife wondered out loud when my last appointment with the dentist was.

â—¾Read yesterday’s diary.