August 28-September 3… "Chris said people from big families eat faster,"
"Maybe Afghanistan is the reset-to-zero button on Britain's foreign policy."
"I managed to make Japan look exceptionally small"
"She described a man on a train with his “thingy madoobly” hanging out."
The deaf one was irritating. He shouted a lot. That's understandable, but he was also a braggart, so his shoutings were especially annoying. I've got a new phone, you know. Takes pictures. Brilliant quality. I got this case for it off the internet. The clasp is magnetic. At the exhibition, Shouty was so shouty that … Continue reading Drabble: Mutton Jeff
"My wife agreed to water a neighbour's plants while they holidayed in Greece. One of the plants is called Alice."
"Keith sent a photo that tortures a bad pun so badly it becomes good."
"The taxi driver said the government's handling of the virus crisis was a shambles."
'Every week on Love Island sex talk breaks new boundaries and euphemism gets lost in the throes of ecstacy'
“I now suspect the Labour Party is keeping quiet about government screw-ups because it would most likely have done pretty much the same.”
"A yellow spotted tentacle twists and turns to infinity."
"I will feel like a total failure and a bad husband if I don’t come up with a solution soon..."
"Everyone is turning off the NHS Covid app in case they get notified to self-isolate."
Emily said she likes drawing on bananas with a ballpoint pen.
"Putinism with posh accents" is how he described the government's attempt to tamper with the BBC.
"My wife knows all the technical terms for the TV game show Tipping Point."