Diary… Monday 3 February

A few things that happened today…

At the station I discovered that you can get a direct train from Winchester to Manchester or Newcastle.

I don’t know why this surprised me. Maybe I’ve been quietly harbouring the thought that the north of England has been secretly detached from the south while I wasn’t paying attention.

◾I just remembered that last night our friend Liz told us that women’s public toilets these days are disgusting.

It seems that far too many are not comfortable with using the most comfortable method of female urination (seated) and instead opt for a ‘hovering’ position.

The outcome of this practice is toilet seats (and even sometimes the floor) soaked in poorly-aimed piss.

Take aim… Fire!

I’m not entirely sure my description of this technique as more uncomfortable than sitting is true.

First, how the hell would I know. I’m a man, and we are blessed with a bit of biology that makes directional urination relatively easy.

Second, the stress of sitting on a potentially contaminated toilet seat might actually be a very uncomfortable experience.

Third, lots of other bipeds urinate in the squatting position, so maybe it’s not really weird at all. Just disgusting.

◾To Barbican cinema for Queen & Slim, a fabulous Bonnie & Clyde film about black culture acting as an extended family to a couple whose embryonic courtship gestates as they flee arrest for the murder of a racist cop.

Love story on the run…

◾Read yesterday’s journal entries.