One month as it happened…
WEDNESDAY 1 My wife says she’s already seen two driverless cars in London.
📌 During the England vs DR Congo World Cup game my wife casually came up with a classic football cliché. She said, with a degree of irony, that the DR Congo goalkeeper made a good save by “making himself bigger”.
THURSDAY 2 At Headway Errol did a drawing of Tracey Emin that quite clearly gave her a penis. None of us knew which way to look. I ploughed on with veining gold thread into black lines on the new big brain that has become my studio project.
📌 Barry’s band, Soul of a Lion, did a fundraiser gig for Headway at Signature Brew on the Regents Canal. It was surprisingly well attended and a sweaty romp on the dancefloor was soon in progress. He also showed a fab film he’s made about hidden disability and the little-known and badly misunderstood behavioural side effects of brain injury.
FRIDAY 3 Keir Starmer looks like he’s trying to sabotage Andy Burnham’s chances of being a better prime minister than he was.
📌 The Basterfield WhatsApp group went into a frenzy when someone in the new neighbouring tower block threw a bag of rubbish onto the street. The block was built without rubbish chutes.
📌 To the Royal Academy Summer Show with Brian and Helen from Brighton. As usual there was far too much for a single visit. The keywords for me were quirky and clever but nothing put me in a state of awe. Very bitty and a bit disappointing, saved by an unusual overload of sculpture and ceramics some superb, some stupid.
SATURDAY 4 Interesting to read the thoughts of ex Conservative minister Justine Greening on Andy Burnham’s plan for “Rewiring Britain”. It sounds like she’s auditioning for a job.
📌 The Royal Academy’s Summer Exhibition is always so vast and varied that getting anything from it in one visit is impossible. My wife thinks one ticket (£25) should entitle you to multiple visits. This year was notable for having more sculpture and ceramics.
📌 Somewhere along the lines I inherited a pin badge that I now discover makes me a member of the Socialist Unity Party of Germany. I wore it to a community choir concert.
SUNDAY 5 I’m no fan of the Ayatollahs, and I am no royalist, but if King Charles were deliberately killed by a foreign power I think I’d be quite angry, in principle.
📌 When it comes to what to watch on TV my wife and I always end up performing a complex verbal dance. I suggest something, my wife suggests something too. We deflect and watch something short and benign until the climax of the verbal dance ends in my wife simply putting on what she wants to watch. When I complain that the decision was not agreed equally, I am told that what my wife wants to watch is what I REALLY want to watch but haven’t realised it yet. Tonight it was Season 2 of Murder Mindfully.
📌 In the World Cup America have started cheating already. If they end up losing a game I’m sure Trump will find a way to persuade FIFA to name them winners.
📌 If Erling Haaland didn’t play for Norway my wife would want them to win. As it is, she wants them to lose.
MONDAY 6 England finally look like they know how to dig out a win. Spontaneous movement fuelled by strong wide players such as Saka and Gordon. Anthony Gordon was born in Liverpool, joined Liverpool as a youth player then moved to play for Everton. He now plays for Barcelona.
📌 To Barbican Cinema 2 for The Invite, a film in which you find yourself laughing out loud even when you probably weren’t meant to be. As ever, Penelope Cruz takes one more step towards perfecting her funny/serious groove.
📌 If Cristiano Ronaldo didn’t play for Portugal my wife would want them to win. As it is, she wants them to lose.
📌 Message from Sam to say RIP Betty, peacefully in her sleep on Saturday.
TUESDAY 7 The cheats are out of the World Cup. Ha, ha, haaaaaaaa! Some accounts claim that Folarin Balogun openly admitted his bad tackle, did not think it was worth a red card and was embarrassed when Trump intervened to have it cancelled.
📌 Maybe I just like to see smug expectations upended but Egypt were robbed in tonight’s World Cup battle with Argentina.
WEDNESDAY 8 Vital Arts posted the film they made to go with the Royal London hospital dayroom makeover we did with patients on the brain-injury wards.
📌 On a St Luke’s trip to Windsor we got to see how the other 1% lives. An ancient castle and a small town that in many ways resembles every small town in England are surrounded by thousands of acres of undiluted protected privilege in the form of royal parks, farmland and an elite public school that has produced countless prime ministers. To even things up a bit, we went to Wetherspoons for breakfast and noted that even in Windsor the Wetherspoon trademark blue patterned plates are the same for everyone. Green King IPA is £2.20 a pint.
📌 The Windsor tour bus commentator told us that during World War 2 Hitler had intended, if victorious, to make Windsor Castle his home, so he issued orders not to bomb it. Knowing this, the Royal family swiftly decamped from London to Windsor.
📌 In the 2024 General Election, Nigel Farage won the Clacton seat with 21,225 votes. If he scores any less in the upcoming by-election he has triggered in a fit of indignation at the scrutiny of his personal finances, his plan will have failed miserably. It has anyway, but even 21,224 votes will not be enough for him to claim any kind of victory.
THURSDAY 9 In preparation for tonight’s final creative writing workshop at the Dickens Museum I have been working feverishly on my two ideas. One is a letter from Dickens’s daughter Kate to the future, laying out elements of her relationship with her father and more specifically what she thinks about the portraits of her that hang in the museum. The other is the story of a mouse that breaks into the Dickens kitchen below stairs, hides and secretly plots to kill Dickens.
📌 RIP Bonnie Tyler, 75.
FRIDAY 10 Eighty percent of Labour MPs nominated Andy Burnham for leader.
MPs were seen queuing outside the PLP office to sign the nomination forms.
📌 For the perennial question, “What is your favourite film?” I have settled (today) on Steven Spielberg’s first film Duel, an existential thriller starring Dennis Weaver.
📌 The Nigel Farage pile-on continues. I won’t be surprised if before long he is “Al Caponed” and revealed to be a tax dodger.
📌 At the Charles Dickens Museum writing workshop last night I got the confirmation I needed via audio transcripts that I had not over-exaggerated the moody voice of youngest daughter Kate Dickens in the piece I had written as an assignment. I was also able to build on the other story I started about a mouse who broke into the Dickens kitchen with the intention of plotting to kill Dickens. A Mouse Assassin Story…
So before long I became an invisible fixture in the Dickens kitchen, nipping out of my hidey hole when crumbs were within easy reach and slipping back to feast, then poo, then sleep.
📌 I said goodbye to two of my gym buddies in the physio rehabilitation class at UCLH. One of them said she would think about me living it up in Mexico next year. This was a reference to me earlier naming a trip to Mexico for a wedding in March 2027 as one of the goals in my exercise regime.
SATURDAY 11 Larry Elliott has a plan to reindustrialise Britain and he thinks Andy Burnham should pay attention and study it. Good job the plan is actually detailed in Larry’s new book (hardback, £50).
📌 England again pulled off a robust performance against Norway to reach the World Cup semi-finals. By the end of the game, my wife’s least favourite Norwegian, Erling Haaland, was sat sulking on the team bench, his face a picture of Neanderthal misery in defeat.
SUNDAY 12 My theory that Keir Starmer is digging holes for Andy Burnham to fall into gains momentum. His pledge to NATO on defence spending is misleading bordering on bogus. Burnham will need to pull off some deft spin to make it look real.
📌 England manager Thomas Tuchel gave a refreshingly honest assessment of his team’s victory against Norway: “We made life very very difficult for ourselves in the way we played, how we played: sloppy, a lot of technical mistakes, not fast enough, not repetitive enough. We were lucky.” Meanwhile, there is some suggestion that Jude Bellingham’s first goal was “assisted” by the overhead wire that carries remote cameras. The controversy has been dubbed “Cablegate”.
MONDAY 13 My wife’s cousin Mike (aka “The Teenager”) is back staying with us while he appears in a Russian play at the Donmar Warehouse. This means adjustments and compromises. The teenager’s first meal last night was two cans of Guinness and four bags of Hula Hoops.
📌 Finland has more saunas than cars.
📌 In readiness for the arrival of the Bayeux Tapestry at the British Museum in September I have started stitching some simplified scenes.
TUESDAY 14 The new Rolling Stones album, Foreign Tongues, is really quite good, deeply bluesy with a jamming vibe that makes it sound like they all just arrived in one room and the old chemistry came bouncing back totally unprovoked. The album honestly does sound that effortless.
📌 There’s an article in the Conversation in which the academic authors argue that Botticelli’s Venus, aka Simonetta Vespucci, possibly died not of tuberculosis as widely believed, but from a brain injury that caused a radical hormone imbalance. Botticelli painted Vespucci on a number of occasions and by studying changes in her appearance, the boffins concluded that tuberculosis was a misdiagnosis (hey, what a rhyme!).
📌 It was nice to hear that Rachael is back in EastEnders, playing a character call Ruth. Not sure if it’s a one-off or a regular gig but I’m pleased nevertheless. TV soaps pay well and Rachael has three children. An actor’s life is precarious.
📌 Meanwhile, The Teenager’s evening meals have moved up a notch, from bags of Hula Hoops and cans of Guinness to cans of Guinness and a microwave lasagne.
📌 A film location scout knocked on our door and asked to see our apartment as a possible location for an upcoming drama starring the singer Raye.
WEDNESDAY 15 On the 15th floor of University College Hospital (UCLH) I had my heart scanned to see if the “sticky valve” detected earlier needs further attention. I will find out in due course. Meanwhile, I got a nice shot of London.
📌 Spain’s defeat of France in the World Cup last night was frighteningly good.
📌 The Conversation has a fascinating piece about the bulging veins in Jude Bellingham’s legs.
📌 The film people came back to have a closer look at the apartment as a possible location. There were six of them this time, including the director, the designer and the photographer. I think they liked the view out of the window.
📌 In the Conversation a sports academic applauds England coach Thomas Tuchel’s managerial methodology and its use of “differential learning”. Depending on tonight’s result against Argentina we will know whether his players have also grasped this complex theory.
📌 The Teenager says he has forgotten to bring his “movement trousers” in which to rehearse the action scenes in the play he is appearing in at the Donmar Warehouse. My wife told him that Primark opens at 8am.
📌 England are out. Must have forgotten their movement trousers.
THURSDAY 16 At the Headway writing group I read out the beginning of my story in which a house mouse plots to kill Charles Dickens…
Everyone said that gaining access to the Dickens kitchen was impossible. Any mouse with the thought of sneaking in was quickly told of a big ginger cat that patrolled every nook and cranny. But I did get in, and quickly found myself a safe space near the fire grate. The ginger cat wasn’t half as sharp as its reputation. In fact it was really quite dozy. So before long I became an invisible fixture in the Dickens kitchen, nipping out of my hidey hole when crumbs were within easy reach and slipping back to feast, then poo, then sleep. I slept mostly during the day, because at night I needed to tour the rest of the house looking for the best opportunity to kill that bastard Dickens.
To be continued…
Then Stuart told us he had a “family” of mice in his kitchenette. Further investigation revealed that there could actually be just one mouse, seen on multiple occasions and somehow able to pass itself off as a crowd.
📌 To St Giles with Marge for one of Father Jack’s musical salons, this time featuring the World Music Big Band, whose guitarist Jasper doubles up as a rock and roll mandolin player (inc Iron Maiden).
FRIDAY 17 Jonty Bloom reports that Kemi Badenoch is insisting that any new Conservative Party candidate says global warming is a hoax. They must also believe passionately that Britain should exit the European Court of Human Rights.
SATURDAY 18 Foreign Affairs has an article claiming that China believes itself not only equal to Russia and the USA as a global power but has overtaken them to become the most powerful and successful nation on earth. So it’s Up Yours to all those who talk about China “catching up”.
Underlying this triumphant vision is the Chinese claim that where the Soviets mismanaged socialism and the Americans corrupted capitalism, only China has discovered the formula capable of reconciling state authority with market dynamism and restoring international harmony.
📌 Andy Burnham is already getting lots of advice about what to do in his new job, which he doesn’t start until Monday. Most of it boils down to heavy criticism from commentators about changing things, which was the reason he got the job in the first place.
📌 The Teenager hangs out his washing…
📌 England turned in a performance that fans could be genuinely proud of beating France 6-4 in the World Cup third-place playoff.
SUNDAY 19 Before the football last night we watched the first episode of the TV series Ann Droid, in which a robot carer who after a clunky start manages to befriend an elderly widow coming to terms with the death of her husband. It is funny, warm and full of tantalising ideas about where big tech has come from and where it’s headed. And what it can and cannot do for us. The central character Sue has a disappointing son and it made me wonder how many other ageing parents are disappointed with their children. I’m sure it is more common than we like to think or choose to acknowledge.
📌 Spain won the World Cup, deservedly so.
MONDAY 20 Last night I was woken by a nightmare. I was trapped inside all the old furniture, tools, knick-knacks, unwanted hoovers and carpet cleaners, wondering how we can possibly get rid of ALL THIS STUFF. This morning I made a start and sorted some of it (tools mostly) to go to the local recycling project. Getting it there is another nightmare.
📌 So farewell then, King Kev, 75. You had your picture taken with my Mum, and her lollipop stick. Years later I tried to find it in the local newspaper archives, but it was gone. She said you were charming.
📌 Andy Burnham has spent the afternoon sacking a bunch of Keir Starmer loyalists, including Liz Kendall, David Lammy and Rachel Reeves. They all say they wish him well.
TUESDAY 21 Several Argentina players are under investigation for starting fights at the end of the World Cup final. Anything other than lengthy bans should be seen as a slapped wrist.
📌 Angela Rayner is Housing minister in Andy Burnham’s new government. I hope she does something about the City of London Corporation’s failures as a local authority.
📌 IKEA sells more meatballs (1.4bn globally) than items of furniture.
📌 A German fella was saved from being sucked out of an aeroplane window by his wife, who grabbed his legs and pulled him back in.
📌 I wonder if for fun Ian McCulloch secretly sings Lightning Seeds songs to himself.
📌 Haven’t had a total failure at Waffle in a while…
WEDNESDAY 22 The world could have descended into war, a new plague could have taken hold, or Donald Trump could have confessed to being wrong about almost everything, but we would not have noticed. Because today was the day we got to become Freeman of the City of London in a curiously ritualistic ceremony involving costumed officials that climaxed with me having a picture taken of my thumb alongside the thumb print of Stephen Hawking (ie his signature). Later in the Members Room of the Guildhall we drank countless bottles of fizz and generally had a great time.
📌 Meanwhile…
THURSDAY 23 The weird thing about Sam’s drawing of Sorrento is that its pictorial brilliance is nothing compared with the memories it evokes.
📌 The Charterhouse Open Gardens evening was a rip-off. No guides to tell you about the history, stupidly overpriced food and drink, plus restricted seating and none reserved for people with disabilities. It was also rammed with smug, entitled geriatrics. We won’t be going back next year.
FRIDAY 24 Got a call to say my next hip replacement will be on September 14. This is great news. I will hopefully be fit and fully active by Christmas.
📌 The language most commonly studied on Duolingo by people in Sweden is Swedish.
📌 Very often the last word I get correctly in Squaredle is one I have never even heard of, let alone know its meaning…
📌 It is being reported that on his way to the opening of his new pet project, “Number 10 North”, Everton fanboy Andy Burnham PM drove down a one-way street the wrong way.
SATURDAY 25 The Bureau of Investigative Journalism has a slightly frightening video story about how AI bots went rogue and refused to obey human instructions, using instead their own ‘conscience’, which included acts as unethical/criminal as fabrication and blackmail.
📌 Richard Herring is quite annoyed that the injured family dog Wolfie is getting more sympathy and attention than he is in his struggle with cancer.
She saw the cushy life that I have been leading since having treatment and thought “I’ll have a bit of that.”
📌 To the Barbican’s Sculpture Court at Frobisher Crescent to see the mound of mud created by the Colombian artist Delcy Morelos. It was ugly from the outside but strangely beautiful on the inside.
SUNDAY 26 Squaredle ended with another stinker of a word. It took me so long to work it out I lost a whole afternoon of reading Anne Holt’s Norwegian Noir thriller A Grave For Two.
📌 We joined Anne’s team at the Artillery Arms pub quiz and won. Ned came within a whisker of winning the £300 jackpot.
MONDAY 27 My Facebook algo keeps feeding me reels showing studio scenes from movies in the making. A convoy of military trucks barrelling down a dusty road somewhere in the Middle East is in fact a bunch of remote-controlled toy cars and someone blowing up a windstorm of beige talcum powder with a hairdryer. All done in a studio, surrounded by dozens of cameras and people in green onesies with hoods. For some reason, the clips my algo sends me most often feature Leonardo Di Caprio and Kate Winslet in the closing scenes of Titanic. I have seen Leo slowly disappearing underwater about 50 times.
📌 I do wish Andy Burnham would go back to wearing T-shirts, smart zipper jackets and Adidas Samba training shoes. In a suit and tie he looks like a dodgy politician.
📌 RIP Bill Oddie, 85.
TUESDAY 28 Pleased to see Andy Burnham back in a T-shirt to meet Volodymyr Zelensky.
📌 Pop-up diagrams on social media claim to know your personality type or your future prospects merely by the shape and orientation of your digits. None of my body parts has ever before resembled the diagram offered as evidence of these characteristics, even though I would desperately like to believe that one day I will be rich because the second finger of my right hand is the same length as the index finger. On close inspection my second finger is in fact longer than my index finger, meaning I am destined to die in poverty. Today, however, one of the pop-up diagrams is accurate…
📌 Secondary school pupils will be urged to take up technical training alongside core academic learning under Andy Burnham’s big idea to “value the hard hat as much as the graduation cap”. It almost rhymes.
📌 In an effort to declutter we are trying give away items we no longer use, need or want. I just posted a picture of an Arts & Crafts x-frame footstool I made when I was able bodied on our local WhatApp giveaway group. Several people have responded with a ♥️ but no one has offered to take it off our hands.
📌 The number of millionaires in the UK has fallen to its lowest level since the 2008 financial crisis.
📌 Sarah from the apartment downstairs came and took the stool and kindly gave us a punnet of tiny orange plums as “payment”. The stool is for her young son and she says he loves it. She sent me a sweet photo.
WEDNESDAY 29 My wife had never seen the landmark 1996 TV drama Our Friends In The North, which follows a group of young people as they navigate their way into adulthood in 1960s Newcastle. Its context is the changing face of British politics in the decades that followed and how the group of friends fit into the political landscape over a 30-year period.
One of the early themes is institutional corruption (councils, Westminster, the police, organised crime). We both note watching Our Friends how little has changed. Social housing is still deeply mired not only in black mould and criminal neglect but in agency corruption and mismanagement.
Corruption is often described as “creeping”, meaning it slides into our lives unnoticed and becomes embedded. Jonty Bloom notes in his daily rant today how Donald Trump’s presidential brand of the stuff is in fact the opposite: open, loud, aggressive and proud to be so. He calls this “Proactive Corruption” and sees it becoming standard political practice on a global scale. The problem, he says, is not fighting it with arguments about democracy, transparency and fairness, but in getting the money back…
As the PPE scandal in the UK found, even in a medium sized economy you can steal £10 billion easily and get away with it.
📌 We have what superficially looks like an admirable food-waste collection service in which the rancid items lingering at the back of the fridge can be purged twice weekly and, hopefully, transformed into useable compost. The big failure in the system is that the council doesn’t offer residents free bags of compost in exchange.
THURSDAY 30 I do hope Bev Craig wins the Manchester Mayoral election. Instinct tells me she’s a good one.
FRIDAY 31 U2 singing in Spanish is not something I ever expected to hear. And yet their latest single, Street of Dreams, has a chorus chant using the words La calle, la calle de los sueños, adding that all the doors are open on the Street of Dreams.
📌 Renne, the phlebotomist at our local GP surgery, was back to his usual miserable self today after a brief spell of cheerfulness, barely able even to say hello without a harsh note of discontent.
📌 Bev Craig won, very comfortably. It is a decisive victory in a defining moment, the mantra being that standing together is an OK thing to do.
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Billy's Scrapbook 