Scrapbook: Week 18

May 2- 8, 2026

SATURDAY 2 What happens when you have surgery that cuts a big hole in your buttock is that you get prescribed painkillers such as Morphine and Codeine to reduce the resulting agony. The bad news is that Morphine and Codeine cause constipation and you end up over-squeezing, in pain, on the toilet, just to complete a basic bodily function. The good news is that you have plenty of time to sit there (in pain) and score top marks at digital word games.

📌 King Charles III looks quite comfortable in his role as Sarcastist in Chief of the United Kingdom.

SUNDAY 3 Louise Chunn makes another one of her famous comebacks in the New Statesman with a piece about the decline of women’s magazines and what a jolly time was had by all in the offices of Elle during the 1970s, righting all of the world’s wrongs and preventing teenage pregnancies.

📌 It seems like only yesterday that I got a top score in Waffle.

📌 My wife, acting as Chief Medical Officer, fed me an orange flavoured drink called Laxido, which has transformed the operation of my stubborn bowels. That’s not as good as it sounds because the temporary suspension of the “No Farting In Bed” rule will no doubt be lifted as soon a full bowel control is restored. Might have to have an argument about “medical exemptions.”

MONDAY 4 I am reverting to type faster than I thought I would. This morning, I failed to conserve the energy I need to do a fixed set of exercises by washing and dressing independently. I used up so much effort getting my socks on I needed a sleep.

📌 I think the spirit of recovery might be on the way. For the first time in years I emerged from an afternoon dream with the firm belief that it won’t be too long now before we will be able once again to visit family and friends abroad and enjoy a Mediterranean evening stroll.

TUESDAY 5 My wife was worried that my hip-surgery wound was not healing properly. She took a fetching photo and had a reassuring conversation with Lucy, my recovery nurse, who gave her permission to shovel more dihydrocodeine into my mouth should the pain persist throughout the night.

WEDNESDAY 6 “Kryptonite” Kier Starmer is now widely predicted to take a heavy beating at Thursday’s local elections. Whether he will respond by falling on his sword or whether a challenge for the leadership emerges from within the party is not knowable. What is certain is that all the dull political gameplay and posturing that goes with this tedious predicament is exactly what the British public wants to see the back of.

While Rayner is not hostile to Streeting on a personal level, she believes his victory would be a continuation of what she sees as the Labour right’s disastrous control of the party, which she blames for the infighting that has led it where it finds itself today. Rayner is determined to see a leader who can unite the Labour Party.

📌 The spring in our front-door catch had broken. First we found a temporary way of securing the door, then we found an old-school locksmith happy to tackle a vintage piece of 1950s modernist door furniture. He dismantled the entire seven-tumbler mechanism, located the broken spring, was able to piece it back together and refit the whole unit to perfect working order. He even measured the old spring, so if the problem returned he could replace it with a new one. A potential charge of £450+ ended up being £150.

THURSDAY 7 The swelling in my left leg is starting to ease and I can sense more comfortable nights ahead of me.

📌 Michelle says Thursdays at Headway are not the same without me.

📌 There is a famous London urban myth that you are never more than two metres from a rat. A recent update of this saying has replaced the word rat with podcaster.

FRIDAY 8 I must be getting better because I am waking up earlier, and not always because of the pain. Yesterday on the radio, I learned from Farmer’s Today that Britain holds half of the world’s entire stock of bluebells, that they are a protected species and that picking them is illegal and can be punished with a fine of up to £5,000.

📌 Kier Starmer must be secretly excited by the proposition of Reform UK taking over so many of Britain’s failing local councils. At least come the next general election Reform will not be able to blame Labour for the chaos and misery caused by bad local governance.

📌 Happy birthday David Attenborough, 100 today.

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