August 28-September 3… "Chris said people from big families eat faster,"
"Maybe Afghanistan is the reset-to-zero button on Britain's foreign policy."
"I managed to make Japan look exceptionally small"
"She described a man on a train with his “thingy madoobly” hanging out."
"My wife agreed to water a neighbour's plants while they holidayed in Greece. One of the plants is called Alice."
"Keith sent a photo that tortures a bad pun so badly it becomes good."
"The taxi driver said the government's handling of the virus crisis was a shambles."
'Every week on Love Island sex talk breaks new boundaries and euphemism gets lost in the throes of ecstacy'
“I now suspect the Labour Party is keeping quiet about government screw-ups because it would most likely have done pretty much the same.”
"A yellow spotted tentacle twists and turns to infinity."
"I will feel like a total failure and a bad husband if I don’t come up with a solution soon..."
"Everyone is turning off the NHS Covid app in case they get notified to self-isolate."
"Putinism with posh accents" is how he described the government's attempt to tamper with the BBC.
"My wife knows all the technical terms for the TV game show Tipping Point."
“We watched Oxford United beat Portsmouth in the League 1 playoffs. Oxford had cardboard cutouts in the stands.”
I always knew there was something deeply iffy about the idea to link Ireland and Scotland with bridge